15th Entry - Do Unto Others...Part 2

So you already know that I have always tried to adhere to the Golden Rule.  Not everyone does, but some do.  I have two uncles (my dad's brothers) who have helped me pay my rent, utilities, food, etc. from time to time.  I have a dear friend in Denver and her sister in Georgia who have been generous and helped me stay afloat.  There's a small church in Gainesville who has helped me over the years.  My niece sent my daughter $30.00 last year.  My Sister in Christ, who opened her home to me when I was homeless, helped me pay for my move, given me clothes, food, and allowed me to work off most of the money she loaned me.  In a moment of hopeless desperation I started this blog.  Since then, I have felt the power of your Prayers in my life.  Amid all of the frustration of dealing with government red tape, trying to find doctors, and STILL dealing with hunger and poverty, your Faithful Prayers have kept me from becoming overwhelmed.  As my body weakens, my Faith increases.  Although this Christmas won't have much bling, I  have so much to be thankful for.  I try to cherish my Blessings and every day of my existence.  I cherish YOU!  May our Loving Father richly Bless you for your Prayers and Faithfulness.  

14th Entry - Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You

I always tried to live by this rule.  However, it seems like a lifetime of others doing unto me as they wish without care or concern.  My immediate family is the worst.  Even lately with my medical and financial problems it continues.  My older brother lives in a nice home.  Just across the street and 2 doors down, he also owns a nice single wide mobile home.  When I asked him if my daughter & I could stay there until we got up enough for our own place, he said no.  His lame excuse was that the place needed some repair.  Yet it is ok to let his buddies stay there for few months while working in the area.  My younger brother built his home and later on he purchased the lot next door and put a mobile home on it.  He ended up giving that lot w/mobile home to his 3rd wife's spoiled, ungrateful daughter who promptly gave it to her then boyfriend.  My youngest brother was fortunate to have my father help him purchase a piece of land and then a used mobile home on it.  Everything is completely paid for!  Additionally, my sister has been the ungrateful recipient of at least 9 cars from my father.  All the while, I was raising my kids without child support and dependent on the welfare system to barely keep us going in the projects.  I was vilified by this family of mine for going to college in my 40's and then by the DOE student loan by double dipping into my SSDI check leaving me being dependent upon the screwed up food stamp office and begging for food and financial assistance to pay my bills.
Moreover, my eldest son who lost his home due to alcohol and drug use with his very young new bride has no only vilified me for raising him in poverty, he lashed out at me and his sister for telling him I had cancer and was going to have a double mastectomy.  The vicious threats to beat me and kill me and his sister he left on my voice mail caused me and my daughter to seek a restraining order against him.  The hearing was the day before my surgery and the judge was so overwhelmed by his hateful threats, she granted us a permanent, lifetime restraining order against him.  My younger son has been an alcoholic since he was 16 due to the scum he hung around with in the ghetto.  He does not work and is living with an older woman who also supports him.  Although I have bailed him out of jail & let him stay with me with no compensation, he still considers me the "C" word and is ambivalent to my health issues.
What is God trying to teach me?  How much more suffering must I endure?
 Try to imagine how difficult it is to share His love with such a heavy burden on my back.
Today my phone was shut off.  Soon the tv and internet will be off as well.  Until I get my food stamps on the 6th, I am without milk, bread, sugar, coffee, and more.  I had to dig up dirt outside to put in my cat's litter box.  I cannot drive my car because the tag expired in October and I cannot afford insurance.
Really, God?
Why must I continue to suffer and struggle?  Am I so unworthy for basic needs that I deserve this?
Please continue to life me up in your Prayers and give me your thoughts and comments.
This is all I have to keep hope alive.